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Why, you ask? Why is it against the rules for prostitutes to kiss their customers? Because they have learned from years of experience that if they kiss their customers, it only increases the chance they will fall in love with a customer they don't even know. It becomes a liability in their business to fall in love with a customer. It's bad for business because it causes them to become emotionally involved!

So we can determine there is a rule of science here at work. Be aware! This rule is not a moral rule. This rule is not a religious rule. It is not based upon dos and don'ts. It is based upon scientific reality. Here is the rule:

If you have a repeated sexual relationship with someone you do not know or barely know, one of two things will happen:

First, you will come believe that you have fallen in love with that person, even though your feelings have no greater significance than if you took our fictitious love pill just before you went on a Disneyland ride and fell in love with the ride.

Second, you will try to ignore your feelings and risk becoming a cold and calloused person who is out of touch with your own feelings. In order to do this you will need to reduce the importance of the sexual encounter in your mind to being no more significant than an amusement park ride.

Oh sure, you may catch any one of dozens of sexually transmitted diseases, not the least of which is AIDS. Sure, it could end up killing you. There is no question about that reality.

However, it is our contention at Solving Conflicts that the death you die from AIDS is not nearly as painful as living with the broken heart and devastated emotions from simply falling in love with the wrong person, at the wrong time, for the wrong reasons, and from seeing the relationship end in disaster and broken lives.

Are we clear on this?

You see, starting a relationship in a sexual way is a guaranteed method of feeling as though you are falling in love with that person whether you want to or not.

Why? Again, because that is the way our brains work. In our brains, sex feels like emotional love and emotional love feels like sex. Our brains simply don't know the difference between the two.

If you have sex with someone you don't love, and if you continue having sex with the person, you will eventually feel as if you emotionally love the person. It starts happening on the very first encounter. You may even decide to marry the person. You may even pretend you are happy and everything is wonderful, that is, until you wake up one morning and see their true counterfeit character qualities.

Now, do you understand why Gavin and Paige thought they were in love and thought that marriage was a good idea?

If you take any two people on the entire earth who are normal, typical, and similar aged, and put them together in a private room of their own free will ...even if you are paying them money to participate, after a repeated sexual relationship, they will begin to feel as though they are emotionally in love. There is no other possible option. That is how the brain chemistry works. Even if they do not get along or see eye-to-eye on anything, they will still develop feelings of being emotionally in love.

So the very first tip in finding the right person to marry, then, is never have any sexual touching in a relationship with a person unless you already know that you love the person in a special way based upon your familiarity with their genuine character qualities and also a familiarity with their counterfeit qualities they are most likely to use when they are short of temper or not acting their best.

If you break this rule, you put yourself at high-risk for falling in love with the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

Second, you can deduct from the first tip that it is not wise to choose to be in a binding non-sexual love relationship with someone until you know him or her well enough in terms of his or her genuine character qualities first. In other words, don't make relationship commitments prior to knowing the person's character qualities.

We will say it one more time. If you have a repeated sexual relationship first before you know the person's character, there is a great chance of falling in love with that person. However, because you did not learn about that person's character before you had sex and before you fell in love with that person, when you finally become acquainted with the person's character later in the relationship, you may not like what you see in them at all.

Have you heard the expression, "Love is blind"?

Now, perhaps you can see why that seems to be true; however, just as true is this saying, "Marriage cures blindness!"

Do you think that just maybe this has something to do with the out-of-control divorce rate?